When the Big Questions Keep You Up at Night, Try This
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7 min read
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SolveItHow Editorial Team
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Quick Answer
Deal with existential anxiety by grounding yourself in the present through physical actions and limiting abstract thinking. Focus on what you can control—like your breath or a simple task—instead of spiraling into unanswerable questions. Regular practice builds resilience over time.
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Personal Experience
someone who's navigated existential dread without philosophy degrees
"During a solo trip to Lisbon in 2019, I spent three days barely leaving my hostel because I was stuck on the idea that my choices didn't matter. I'd lie in bed thinking about infinity until my stomach hurt. What broke it wasn't some grand revelation—it was forcing myself to go to a specific café, order a pastel de nata, and count the tiles on the floor. The detail that stuck: there were exactly 47 blue tiles behind the counter. It didn't solve everything, but it got me moving again."
I was sitting in my apartment in Berlin on a Tuesday afternoon, staring at a half-finished cup of coffee, when it hit me: what if none of this matters? The feeling wasn't panic, more like a heavy fog that made everything seem pointless. It's not just 'worrying about life'—it's a specific dread that creeps in when you're alone with your thoughts.
Most advice tells you to 'find meaning' or 'embrace the absurd,' which is about as helpful as telling someone with a flat tire to contemplate the nature of wheels. What you need are things you can do right now, in your body, to pull yourself out of that spiral.
🔍 Why This Happens
Existential anxiety often flares up when you're tired, isolated, or facing a big life change. Your brain starts chewing on questions like 'What's the point?' or 'Does anything I do matter?'—things with no clear answers. Standard self-help fails here because it tries to solve the unanswerable. You can't logic your way out of a feeling that's rooted in the fundamental uncertainty of being human. The trick is to shift from abstract thinking to concrete experience, even if just for a few minutes.
🔧 5 Solutions
1
Count physical objects around you
🟢 Easy⏱ 2–5 minutes
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This interrupts abstract thoughts by forcing your brain to focus on tangible, countable things in your immediate environment.
1
Pick a category — Choose something simple in your room—like books on a shelf, cracks in the ceiling, or leaves on a plant.
2
Count out loud — Say the numbers quietly as you point to each item. Don't rush; if you lose track, start over.
3
Notice details — After counting, pick one object and describe its texture or color to yourself in a sentence.
4
Take a breath — Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 2, exhale for 6. Repeat twice while looking at what you counted.
💡Keep it stupidly simple: I once counted the stripes on my socks (14) during a bad episode. It worked because it was boring enough to break the cycle.
Recommended Tool
Kaufmann Mindfulness Stress Ball
Why this helps: Squeezing and counting the ridges gives your hands and mind something concrete to focus on.
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2
Write down three sensory inputs
🟡 Medium⏱ 10 minutes
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Ground yourself by documenting what you're actually experiencing through your senses, not your thoughts.
1
Grab paper and pen — Use actual paper—typing doesn't have the same tactile effect. No phone allowed.
2
List what you sense — Write one thing you see (e.g., 'dust mote in sunlight'), one you hear (e.g., 'fridge hum'), and one you feel (e.g., 'cool floor underfoot').
3
Add a time stamp — Note the exact time. This anchors the experience to a specific moment.
4
Tear it up — Rip the paper into small pieces when done. It's not for keeping; it's for processing.
💡Be brutally mundane: 'I smell leftover pizza' is better than poetic descriptions. The goal is reality, not art.
3
Do a five-minute chore with full attention
🟢 Easy⏱ 5 minutes
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Redirect anxiety into a small, completable task that requires physical engagement.
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Choose a tiny chore — Pick something like wiping a counter, folding one shirt, or watering a single plant.
2
Move slowly — Pay attention to each motion—how the cloth feels, the weight of the watering can.
3
No multitasking — Don't listen to music or podcasts. Just do the thing.
4
Acknowledge completion — When done, say 'finished' out loud. Sounds silly, but it marks an endpoint.
💡Set a timer so you don't drift. I use my microwave timer for 5 minutes—the beep is a hard stop.
4
Talk to a plant or pet about your day
🟡 Medium⏱ 7 minutes
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Verbalizing thoughts to a non-judgmental listener can diffuse their intensity without the pressure of a human conversation.
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Find your listener — A houseplant, a cat, or even a stuffed animal works. Yes, really.
2
Describe your day — Talk about what you did today in simple terms: 'I had toast for breakfast, then checked email.'
3
Avoid deep questions — Stick to facts. If existential thoughts pop up, say 'maybe later' and return to descriptions.
4
End with a thank you — Say 'thanks for listening.' It creates closure.
💡Whisper if you're self-conscious. My spider plant has heard some weird stuff, but it never judges.
5
Watch a nature documentary on mute
🔴 Advanced⏱ 15 minutes
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Engage your visual brain with the vastness of nature while removing language that might trigger more thinking.
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Pick a documentary — Choose one with lots of landscapes or animal close-ups—BBC's Planet Earth works well.
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Turn off the sound — Mute it completely. No subtitles either.
3
Observe patterns — Watch how things move: waves crashing, birds flocking, clouds drifting.
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Breathe with the rhythm — Sync your breath to a slow motion on screen, like a tree swaying.
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Notice scale shifts — Pay attention when the camera zooms from microscopic to panoramic—it puts your thoughts in perspective.
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Close your eyes briefly — After 10 minutes, shut your eyes for 30 seconds and recall one image.
💡Use a tablet or phone at arm's length to avoid getting sucked into a screen coma. I prop mine on a cookbook.
Recommended Tool
Amazon Fire HD 10 Tablet
Why this helps: Its clear screen is great for watching visuals without notifications popping up to distract you.
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⚠️ When to Seek Professional Help
If existential anxiety is interfering with daily functioning—like you can't work, sleep, or eat for days—or if it's accompanied by thoughts of self-harm, see a therapist. Look for someone trained in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) or existential therapy; they get this stuff. Don't wait until it's crippling; a few sessions can give you tools beyond what you can DIY.
These aren't fixes; they're pauses. Existential anxiety tends to come in waves, and sometimes the best you can do is ride it out with a dumb little trick like counting tiles. It won't make the big questions go away, but it can make them feel less urgent.
Honestly, some days it works, some days it doesn't. The goal isn't to eliminate the feeling entirely—that's probably impossible—but to build a toolkit so it doesn't derail you. Start with the easiest move and see what sticks.
Not necessarily—it's a common human experience when pondering life's big questions. But if it's severe and persistent, it can overlap with anxiety disorders. Most people feel it occasionally without it being a clinical issue.
How do I stop thinking about death anxiety?+
Shift focus to life: engage in activities that make you feel alive, like exercise or creating something. Avoid late-night internet deep dives on mortality; they tend to make it worse.
Can meditation help with existential dread?+
Yes, but choose grounding meditations over open-monitoring ones. Try body scans or breath-focused apps like Headspace—they anchor you in the present instead of letting thoughts spiral.
Why do I get existential anxiety at night?+
Nighttime lacks distractions, so your brain defaults to big-picture thinking. Keep a notepad by your bed to jot down thoughts, then promise yourself you'll revisit them in the morning.
Is existential anxiety common in your 20s?+
Very—it often peaks during major transitions like starting a career or living alone. It's a sign you're grappling with identity, not that you're broken. Talking to peers can normalize it.
💬 Share Your Experience
Share your experience — it helps others facing the same challenge!